I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
