Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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