Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
