And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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