Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
