First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
