onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
