Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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