My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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