I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
