also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
