the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
