I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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