All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize