i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you will always have a special place in my vag
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
