it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
