What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
