It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
