Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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