Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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