i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
