you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
