Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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