Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My ATM looks so different sober.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
