I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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