We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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