She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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