Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
