I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
