Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
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