bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
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