Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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