put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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