Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
