Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
