My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
