You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
