I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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