Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize