is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
