i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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