Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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