Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
