got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
