I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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