i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize
