So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
