My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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