can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
