why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
