what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
