Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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