so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
