For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
