Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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