Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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