You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
