he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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